I try to learn from experiences, not dwell on them. That said, I'm also curious to know how to understand when to say "enough is enough" and make a decision. More importantly, I'm interested in why. This probably isn't making much sense. My aspirations have led me to achieve things that I, ten years ago, would not have imagined possible. Personal goals, ambition, and hope are factors in everything I do. When I set out to do something, it is for a reason. America On Two Wheels is something I have put a lot of thought and time into and for that it is important I explain what I am about to say. I have decided to put this trip on hold for a while. I have stopped riding and traveled back east to my hometown.
When I first mentioned I wanted to ride across the country, the idea was met with mixed responses. Some people thought it was neat, some were pretty interested, a few wanted to join, and others thought I was crazy. Originally, this trip was going to have three riders: Tyler, Matt, and me. Tyler ended up moving northwest for a job, so he was out. (Tyler and I rode from Boston to Philadelphia in 2007) Matt nearly bought a new bike to do this trip, but at the time was neck deep in an intense job-search for a teaching position. In case the news hasn't covered it, teachers have been getting laid off and schools shut down over the past few years due to lack of funding therefore leaving Matt with a very slim chance of even obtaining an interview for a job that probably wouldn't exist in a couple months. However, he persisted and was hired, obtaining a position as a high school math teacher. He worked his butt off and I'm very proud of him. But getting that job meant no bike trip. Being the optimistic person I try to be, I decided to go ahead with the trip anyway and ride by myself across America, ignoring any and all remarks of loneliness in my thoughts and from family and friends.
I can be alone for a decent amount of time, but camping by yourself gets old pretty quickly. At least for me. What keeps me going is the relationships and bonds I have with people when I'm striving for something. The whole reason I chose to ride my bicycle to California is because I love bicycle touring. What I'm realizing now is that I don't like doing it by myself. I wanted to do something fun the last summer before I plunge into an over-saturated market of actors all trying to do the same thing. I thought that I'd like the time by myself, or at least that's what I told myself from day one. But I don't.
It's probably difficult to see the sense in this decision since my posts were positive and mentioned the great people I was meeting and spending time with, the fun times going from town to town eating beans for lunch and dinner, and occasionally a vegetarian option at a restaurant. I was having fun, and I did meet some great people, but I quickly realized I did not want to spend this summer by myself. Seeing the country means nothing to me if I can't share every experience daily with someone close as well as the blog for my family and friends.
The last thing I want is for this to "end" or for anyone to read this and think I don't like bicycle touring anymore. I just didn't want to keep going for any reason other than to have fun, all the while not having fun, and in the end hate bicycle touring. If I'm doing this for me, for fun level, and the fun level is at zero, why am I doing it at all? I do plan on finishing this trip. The one thing I plan to do is make sure I have someone to ride with because I obviously don't like doing it alone. I've always been around people, and more than that people that I love and who love me. This is my trip. I'm going to do it to love it, not just to say I did it.
Hopefully this explains to a certain extent why I have chosen not to continue by myself. This blog will stay open and I will be posting pictures and videos of everything I've recorded so far under their respective dates and posts.
Just remember to always do what you love to do because you love to do it, and for no other reason.